


pursue lonely freedom

by stonerkun420



Series: rainbow’s wave [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Violence, Boys In Love, Character Death, Crying, Fairies, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Sweet Qian Kun, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-13 18:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18474601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonerkun420/pseuds/stonerkun420
Summary: kun looks out to the audience.there’s a man sat at the bar, his cheek resting lazily on his hand as he watches kun take a deep breath. the guy smiles encouragingly, and kun manages a smile back.





	pursue lonely freedom

**Author's Note:**

> hey friends here’s another fic inspired by rainbow v lol :’)) this time its Xiaojun & Kun’s Red Bean cover !! hehe
> 
> TW // a little bit of violence, blood, character death, & uh magic

Kun & Dejun used to watch the humans bustle around town, smiling in amusement at the little things they do.

Humans are so silly, Kun would giggle. Dejun agrees with a smile, watching Kun laugh at someone down below. 

The pair take great enjoyment in the way humans stop in the middle of the street and hurry back to their homes when they realise they’ve forgotten something, or they way they wrap their scarves & jackets tighter around themselves on the colder days.

Often times, they fantasise about being down there with them, being _one_ of them. They can’t though, and they know this, because humans are as dangerous as they are silly. It’s just not a place for fairies like Dejun & Kun to mix with humans.

 

 

Kun sighs, leaning his chin into his palm. “Wouldn’t it be nice?” he asks, and Dejun already knows what he’s going to say next. “If we could turn big, and be with them?”

Dejun turns to his friend with sad eyes, reaching for his hand. “We can’t, Kun. They’re scary, they’ll hurt us. We’re safer here,” 

Kun doesn’t like that answer, and he glares at Dejun, snatching his hand away and bringing it into his lap. “One day I’ll go there,” he whispers. “Then you’ll see, I can take care of myself.”

Dejun shakes his head with a sigh, flying away from the tree they were sitting in. Away from Kun & his dangerous ideas.

 

 

⁅ 🍃🛤⚖️🎍🍵🌿🕊 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

“What part of _dangerous_ doesn’t he understand?” Dejun questions aloud, startling his dinner guests. Kunhang looks up in surprise, looking to Yangyang in a silent agreement.

Kunhang swallows his food, and starts to explain. “He’s just curious, Dejun... can you blame him, really?” 

Yangyang sighs, giving Dejun his most patient smile. “If he wants to be big so bad, he can just go to the council. They’ll fix him up with someone, I’m sure.” Dejun shakes his head at this, placing down his utensils. 

“I won’t let him. He’s going to die out there, he knows nothing of human life.” Dejun speaks quietly, and it’s obvious to Kunhang & Yangyang that they should give him some space now. 

They leave with soft goodbyes, and Dejun appreciates it. He shuts his eyes as they shut the door to his tiny home, hidden away in the trunk of an old oak tree.

 

 

⁅ 🧵🌨🗡❄️🏹⛸🌠 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

“Jun! Dejun!” calls Kun, flying speedily into Dejun’s home. Dejun gasps, flinching when Kun nearly slips over on his rough landing. 

Kun laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Dejun raises an eyebrow, and Kun scrambles to tell him why he’s here.

“Oh, look! I spoke to the council today, and—“

“You did _what_?” Dejun growls, and Kun stops speaking, eye wide. Dejun softens at this, and apologises quickly, urging his friend to continue.

“Um, I spoke to the council, about wanting to visit the human land—for educational purposes, of course!” Kun grins, and Dejun sighs inwardly.

“What did they say?”

Kun pauses for a moment, slumping in disappointment. “Well, not much, to be honest. they just gave me _this_ old thing, then Yixing told me to be wary of consequences—whatever _that_ means.”

Kun pulls out a rolled up map from his belt, handing it to Dejun carefully. “He told me it’d guide me to someone who can help me visit the humans.”

Dejun stays quiet as he unrolls the map, glaring at it calculatingly. He rolls it up quickly and hands it back to Kun, eyebrows furrowed. 

“So? what do you think, Jun?”

He sounds so hopeful, Dejun can’t help but cave. “Do it. I’ll come with you, at least. We can go together, like you always wanted, right?”

Kun grins at this, nodding eagerly. He  pulls his friend into a hug, babbling on about how excited he is to make the trip.

 

 

⁅ 💭🍧🍥🥡🏹⛸🎟 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

The trip is long, and hard. Dejun almost suggests hitching a ride on the back of a dove to make it go faster. Kun refuses, of course, he’s much too excited to let this go to waste.

In a few days time, the pair make it to a darker part of the forest, following the map and leading themselves to a dark alcove in the wall of a cliff. Kun shudders when he flies in, his wings starting to feel heavier with every flutter.

“Dejun, could you—“ Kun starts, but doesn’t really need to finish his sentence before Dejun realises what he needs.

Dejun lights the tips of his fingers up, letting his light filter throughout the cave. Kun smiles, and Dejun admires the way his eyes glitter so spectacularly.

“Who goes there?” Comes a voice from deep within the rocky cave, but they are not angered. Curious, perhaps.

Kun gasps, bringing his hands closer to himself. “We—We’re travellers! We come seeking help, are you the one we need to see?”

The two fairies fly further into the darkness before they are stopped, seeing a figure standing in front of them, back turned. The man turns to them, smiling welcomingly.

“Hello, travellers.” His eyes widen when he sees who has come to visit, and he coos. “Oh! I didn’t expect my new friends to be so little, what could possibly bring you here?”

The man stretches his palm out, and Kun lands on top of his hand without hesitation, smiling up at him. “My name is Qian Kun, I’m a water fairy! I want to be big... will you help me?” 

Dejun startles, flying closer to Kun, lest he need to save him from the hand he sits in. The man gasps, smiling. “Oh! Where are my manners, I haven’t introduced myself, have I?” Kun shakes his head, pouting a little. 

The man tuts, shaking his own head. “Silly me. My name is Ten, I’m a dark witch. Perhaps I can help you, but there are some conditions. I need something in return for your request.”

Kun nods eagerly. “Anything!” That would be easy. Surely Ten would only need something he could easily find outside in the forest, right?

“Kun...” Dejun trails off, eyebrows pinched in worry. Kun doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into, and Dejun knows he’s about to take the deal, no matter what.

“I need a heart, yours. You give me your heart, I can turn you big. There are some rules, but we’ll go over those once you make the deal.” Ten smiles, holding his index finger out for Kun to shake on. “What do you say, Kun?”

Kun is silent for a moment, but he nods anyway and leans forward to shake Ten’s finger.

Dejun panics, his heart racing. “M—Me too! I want to be big too!” Ten looks up to see Dejun flitting about nervously. He smiles.

“And who might you be?”

“Um—Xiao Dejun, light fairy. If I give you my heart, will you turn me big too?” Kun is smiling at Dejun, and Dejun feels like he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life.

“Of course, little friend. Shall we start?”

 

 

⁅ 🌻🍂🌙⛅️✨🍯🍨 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

The process is painful, Kun learns. He doesn’t regret it, not for a second. not even as he screams and cries, tied down by the embroidery thread looped around his wrists. He still doesn’t regret it when he finally is allowed the chance to rest, chest empty, literally.

 

It isn’t the same for Dejun. He’d regretted his choice as soon as he spoke up, and he regrets it even more once his throat is screaming in pain after yelling for so long. He regrets it once his heart is ripped from his chest, stored away for Ten to use.

“Oh, little ones,” Ten sighs, looking down at the fairies. The pair are drained, panting and eyes drooping sleepily. “You must be exhausted, hm? Get some rest, and we’ll go over the rules soon, my friends.”

Dejun & Kun comply immediately, letting their eyes shut. Ten watches over them for the time he allows them to sleep, waking them up when the sunlight enters his alcove.

“It’s time to wake up, little fairies.” He whispers, Dejun startles awake, and watches Kun wake up slowly, stretching his little arms out and yawning wide. “Are you ready to hear the rules?”

The pair nod, still drowsy. Ten smiles proudly. “First rule, you mustn’t reveal your identities to humans. They’re dangerous, and there are people out there who hunt beings like you. Be careful with who you interact with, okay?”

“Secondly, you two are lucky I like you. I’m going to give you just enough power to switch between sizes, but it’s limited. You should be wise about using this. understand?” The pair nod again, and Kun is grinning wide.

“Last rule, the most important. I own your hearts now, and if you break the contract, I’ll destroy them. This means you mustn’t fall in love, or you’ll be imprisoned as punishment for breaking the rules.” Ten’s stare is scarily serious now, no more pretty smile on his face. “If you fall in love, you’ll have thirty moons to fall out, or you’ll be sent back here.”

“You’ll have a life in the human land, the necessities are waiting for you as we speak. Good luck, my little travellers. Until we meet again,”

Ten grins, picking up the two fairies and leading them over to a small basin, filled with iridescent liquid. Kun looks up at Ten, and hugs his index finger gratefully. the fairies hit the water, and are transported to their new home with empty chests.

Ten watches in the reflection of the liquid, smiling. He’ll watch them for a while, he thinks. After all, his new friends are quite entertaining.

 

 

⁅🌂🕷🌄🔮🧬🗡🏹 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Kun lands with a thud, wheezing when the full weight of Dejun lands on top of him. The elder coughs, pushing Dejun off him with all his strength, glaring at him.

They’re in a human bedroom, Dejun notes. It hasn’t got much personality, just a bed and some closet drawers. Kun is going to have to do something about this.

“Should we explore the rest of the house?” Kun whispers, already not liking how loud his voice seems now that he’s bigger. Dejun nods, standing up with a wobble, unused to using his legs often.

Kun stares at Sejun in shock, and the younger glares. “What?”

“Your wings,” Kun mumbles, pointing to Dejun. “they’re gone—are mine gone?” He panics, and Dejun nods sadly. Kun pouts, shoulders slumping.

The two decide to venture further outside the room, smiling in awe at the kitchen space. They giggle when they figure out how to use the television (“It’s a box, Dejun! With people inside! Isn’t that fun?”).

Dejun chooses the other bedroom as his own, leaving Kun to occupy the room they had landed in. They already live together well, Dejun thinks. They’ll fit in just fine.

 

 

⁅ 🎃☄️🍁🍊🥮🏜🏺 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Dejun & Kun end up fitting in just fine. They spend a few months in solitude, just the two of them, so they can observe human culture. Learning how to act right is the most important, Dejun had pointed out soon enough.

Eventually, Kun had grown restless, wanting to go out into the world and do what he loves the most. So, he had taken it upon himself to leave the house one day while Dejun was still asleep, and he walked around until something caught his eye.

“Dejun,” He calls when he walks back into the house. Dejun looks up from where he was stationed at the stove with a scowl. “I signed us up for—“

“I told you to call me Xiaojun from now on, Kun. Don’t you listen? Ten told us not to reveal our identities.” Kun rolls his eyes at this, slumping over the counter and watching Dejun cook.

“He meant our identities as fairies, not our names,” He sighs. “Anyway, check this out.” Kun smiles as he pulls the flyer out of his pocket, handing it to Dejun.

 

They both feel a sense of deja vu.

 

“Red Bean Bar? Kun, what is this?” Dejun furrows his eyebrows, and Kun giggles.

“We’ve got a gig next week! They’re gonna let us sing, Dejun! It’ll be so fun, I promise!” Kun clasps his hands together, eyes sparkling.

Dejun knows he can’t say no to him, not like this. So, he nods and continues to cook, discussing with Kun what they should sing for their performance.

 

 

⁅ 🧚🏻♂️💍🔬🥣🏹🗻⛲️ ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

The  night of their performance arrives, and Kun is nearly shaking in his seat backstage, his hand gripping the bottom of his chair so tight that his knuckles go white.

“Kun,” Dejun calls with a sigh, pursing his lips when Kun doesn’t respond. “Kun!” He whispers loudly, eyes determined. Kun turns to Dejun with wide eyes, his bottom lip trembling.

“It’s just one song, you’ll be fine! Don’t pay attention to anything except your lyrics, and it’ll go smoothly.” Dejun tries, and Kun just nods, taking a deep breath. One of the staff members hands Dejun his guitar with a polite smile, telling the pair that they’ll be on in one minute.

The onstage announcer calls them onstage with a grin, followed by loud applause when the duo step out into their places. They take their seats, and Kun looks out to the audience.

There’s a man sat at the bar, his cheek resting lazily on his hand as he watches Kun take a deep breath. The guy smiles encouragingly, and Kun manages a smile back.

Dejun strums his guitar, and Kun starts to sing, eyebrows pinched in concentration. It’s a mellow song, something about not having experienced things with someone you loved. Dejun thinks the song is awfully familiar, but he doesn’t say anything, he keeps it to himself.

The song comes to an end, and the audience cheers for the duo. Kun smiles at Dejun, then turns to make eye contact with the man from the bar, pouting when he sees the man has disappeared.

Kun leads Dejun offstage and buries him in a tight hug, giggling about how excited he was. “Did you hear the way they cheered, Jun? For us! We did that!” He grins, and Dejun gives him a soft smile as he hands the guitar back to the staff member from before.

“You did well, Kun. I told you, you shouldn’t have worried so mu—“

“Hi, can I speak to Kun for a minute?” Someone cuts Dejun off, and the duo look to their left in surprise. It’s the man from the bar, Kun realises, and he smiles cheerfully.

“Give me a minute, ‘Jun.” Kun asks, and Dejun nods, walking away to sit somewhere he can keep an eye on Kun and this stranger. “What can I do for you?” Kun asks him.

“Oh, um—my name is Sicheng! I saw you up there, you’re really good, by the way—uh, anyway. I just wanted to talk to you, maybe buy you a drink?” Sicheng looks so nervous, he’s blushing obviously and Kun melts, giving Sicheng a kind smile.

“I’d like that a lot, actually! Just let me go tell my—friend... where’d he go?” Kun turns to wave Dejun over, frowning when he isn’t where Kun last saw him.

Sicheng looks over Kun’s shoulder, also frowning. “I’m sure he’s fine on his own, right? He probably just went to find the restroom,” Sicheng comforts, and Kun nods, letting the other man take his hand and lead him to the bar, where they stay for a few hours after that.

 

 

⁅ 🧣🍄🍷🥢🥡🗼⛩ ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Dejun goes home alone that night. He’s angry, so _so_ angry at Kun. The one rule he had managed to stick by this entire time had been thrown away so easily, and now Kun is hanging out at a bar with some human.

In the back of his mind, he knows he should go back to keep an eye on Kun, keep him from doing something stupid, but Dejun is too stubborn. He has too much pride to go back and bring Kun home.

He’ll deal with it later, he decides. Dejun goes to his room and goes to bed immediately, not bothering to stay up and wait for his best friend like he should.

 

 

 

The regret hits him hard when the morning comes. He wakes up early, and goes to Kun’s room to check on him. 

Except, Kun isn’t at home. He’s not in his room, and Dejun panics immediately. He runs out into the kitchen, and whimpers when his friend is nowhere to be seen.

With a shaky breath, he decides that maybe Kun went on an early run and will come back soon. Dejun prepares himself a tea and waits impatiently on the sofa.

An hour goes by. Dejun is worried. Another hour goes by, then two, then three hours. Kun still isn’t home. Dejun is fully prepared to call the police, reaching for the house phone when the front door unlocks.

He stands up quickly as Kun enters, smiling at someone on the other side of the door before he closes it, turning to see Dejun standing there. He’s close to tears, and Kun frowns in concern.

“Dejun, hey, what’s wrong?” Kun asks, pouting as he goes to hug Dejun. The shorter man steps back, shaking his head furiously. He pushes Kun away and tries to ignore the look of hurt he sends him.

“You were gone all night! Where were you? I was so worried—“ Dejun rambles, and Kun watches with a sorry expression. “I thought you—I thought maybe you weren’t _ever_ gonna come back.”

Kun’s chest tightens and he grabs his friend by the wrist, pulling him closer. “Jun, I’m sorry, I-I didn’t think you’d be that worried. We figured you’d be okay on your own,”

“We?”

“Yeah, Sicheng and I. I went back to his place and lost track of time, as soon as I noticed how late it was, he said it’d be too dangerous to walk home on my own.” Kun explains, holding Dejun’s hand in front of him now.

Dejun stammers for a moment. “You—what, you—stayed at his house? Alone?” Dejun’s eyes are wide, worried. Kun nods, trying to give Dejun a comforting smile.

“Yeah,” He smiles. “He was just trying to protect me, didn’t want me to get jumped, he said. I’m here now, it’s okay.” Kun coos, and Dejun nods helplessly.

He can’t explain the storm brewing in his head, or why the pit in his stomach only got worse with the news of Sicheng being so friendly with Kun.

“Are you friends with him now? Will you see him again?” Dejun questions. Kun gives him a strange look, still smiling in an effort to comfort him.

“Yeah, we’re close now, I think he’s nice.” Kun starts, thinking about how Sicheng’s hand had rested on his thigh at the bar last night, travelling no further than that. “ _I_ want to see him again, at least.”

Dejun nods again, slowly, and lets go of Kun’s hand. “Okay, um. I’m glad you’re back now, I’ll be in my room if you need me.” He smiles.

“Wait, Dejun!” Kun calls when the younger turns away, halting and looking back at Kun with some strange kind of hope in his eyes. “We’ve got a couple more gigs at Red Bean, the manager spoke to me last night. I took the deal, I hope thats okay?”

Dejun hopes his shoulders slumping in disappointment doesn’t expose him, and he nods with a strained smile. “Of course. That sounds like fun.”

 

 

⁅ 🕊☁️🍥🕯💌🔖💭 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

The next few weeks are painful for Dejun, and absolutely spectacular for Kun.

Dejun doesn’t quite know why he dislikes Sicheng’s presence so much, he thinks he might be a little jealous of how much attention the taller man receives from Kun on the daily. Sicheng has been nothing but nice. He treats Kun to meals, brings home food for Dejun when he drops Kun off at the doorstep with a chaste kiss and a huge grin. 

Kun is so obviously enamored with Sicheng. He smiles when he daydreams of him, and he could go on for hours about how lovely he is.

“I just think he’s neat,” Kun shrugs with a shy smile as he washes the dishes. Dejun narrows his eyes at his friend, watching him carefully. Kun gets nervous under the gaze, but continues on anyway. “He’s nice. makes me feel like I can be me, I guess.

“Just be careful, Kun.” Dejun would reply, stalking to his room with some kind of tired excuse before he starts to cry. He feels a little childish, but he can’t help it.

 

 

Sometimes, Kun disappears for a day or two before he comes back home. He greets Dejun as normal, paying no attention to the odd look he receives from the younger.

“Um, Kun?” Dejun calls, eyebrows pinched together. Kun turns, eyebrows raised in waiting. “Your—um, your neck is pretty...uh—you should maybe check that out?”

Kun frowns, clearly confused, and he moves to look at himself in the mirror hung in their hallway. Dejun hears him gasp and gets up to watch Kun flush bright red in embarrassment.

“He really did a number on you, huh?” Dejun quips. Kun spins to face Dejun with angry eyes. The purple, dark bruises littering Kun’s pale neck stand out more than anything, and Dejun hates the way they stare at him. “Might wanna get rid of those before we perform later, Kun.”

Kun watches Dejun walk away, and he scowls, looking back at the marks on his neck with anxiety. He doesn’t know how to get rid of them in time, and he’s sure Sicheng won’t know either.

 

 

⁅ 🌪⚓️🏯🗻⚖️🗡⏱ ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

“Dejun,” Kun whispers, shakily. Dejun cracks his eyes open, squinting at Kun, who stands in the doorway of his room.

One look at his clock tells Dejun that it’s nearing the witching hour, and he’s kind of afraid of being awake right now, but decides to avert his attention back to Kun, who’s sniffling.

“Hey, yeah, come in.” Dejun croaks, voice still tired. “What’s up, Kun?” He asks when Kun crawls right into bed beside his best friend, burying his head into his chest.

“Kun?”

“I—oh my god, ‘Jun,” Kun sobs, fisting Dejun’s shirt in his shaking hands, knuckles turning white. “I’m in love with him,”

Dejun tenses, he feels himself go cold. Eyes wide, he looks down at Kun, refusing to meet his gaze. “You’re... Kun, _what_?”

”I’m so stupid, ‘Jun. I should’ve known this would happen—I didn’t even realise until today,” He wails, and Dejun’s stomach drops.

“You mean,” He gulps. “You mean this didn’t start today? Kun—Ten said thirty moons, or you’ll be—“

“Punished. I know, but what am I supposed to do? I love him—I can’t just leave him, ‘Jun.” Kun is finding it hard to breathe at this point, and Dejun pities him.

Wrapping his arms around Kun, grounding himself, it seems like the world is tilting on its axis. He’s dizzy, and confused.

“I’ll deal with it, Kun. I’ll find Ten—I’ll fix it, don’t worry,” Dejun takes a deep breath. “You go back to Sicheng in the morning, tell him how you feel. It’ll be okay, okay?”

Kun nods, sniffling. He’s calmed down now, and the grip on Dejun’s shirt has loosened. He’ll be fine, Dejun always fixes things. It’ll be okay.

 

 

⁅ 🕸🕷🌑♟⚓️🗡✒️ ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Kun visits Sicheng the next morning, nervous and not quite willing to spill his feelings on a whim like this, but he goes anyway.

Dejun had dropped Kun off at Sicheng’s apartment in the city, waiting down below for however long he needed to, just in case things went sour.

Kun gets on the elevator, color drained from his face as he bids Dejun goodbye wjth a nervous wave. Dejun sends him an encouraging thumbs up as the door closes, and he prays to god that nothing bad happens.

 

 

⁅ 🍂🍁🥮⛵️🏜🧱🧺 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Kun knocks on Sicheng’s door a little harder than usual, pushing down the anxiety in his stomach and clearing his throat. Sicheng opens the door, eyebrows furrowed. He smiles when he sees who’s at the door, still confused as to why Kun has shown up unannounced like this.

“Hey—“

“I have something to tell you.” Kun blurts, cutting off Sicheng’s greeting. The taller smiles in amusement, opening the door wider for Kun to step in, locking it behind him.

Kun takes a seat on the sofa, posture stiff and awkward. Sicheng frowns and sits beside him. The two are silent for a moment, save for Kun’s panicked breathing.

“What did you need to tell me?” The younger questions, and Kun sighs dejectedly. He looks up at Sicheng, scanning his features. Sicheng takes his hand, an encouraging smile on his face. “You don’t need to tell me just yet. Come here,”

Sicheng opens his arms for Kun, and the elder falls into them, sighing against Sicheng’s chest. He shuts his eyes as the latter moves so the pair can lay on the sofa comfortably, chuckling at how easy it is to manoeuvre Kun around. 

They lay like that for a while, bordering on ten minutes before Sicheng notices how Kun is beginning to fall asleep. He nudges the elder with a soft mumble, and Kun rubs his eyes tiredly.

“Sorry,” He apologises, shifting in Sicheng’s hold. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“No need.” Sicheng grins, running a hand through Kun’s hair. Kun hums, smiling back at his boyfriend. “Are you ready to talk now?”

Kun nods, but doesn’t say anything. Sicheng opens his mouth to speak, but is cut off by Kun. 

“I think i’m in love with you,” 

The pair go quiet, and Kun attempts to move out of Sicheng’s hold, turning so his back is against Sicheng’s chest. The younger holds him tighter, pressing his lips to the back of Kun’s neck. He shivers.

Sicheng hums. Kun frowns, eyes darting around nervously. Why isn’t Sicheng saying anything back? Kun sits up, bringing Sicheng with him. He’s holding Kun around the waist now, chin hooked over the shorter man’s shoulder. He isn’t smiling. 

“Say something,” Kun croaks, already feeling his eyes starting to well up with tears. He wishes Dejun were here. “Anything.”

“It’s sweet,” Sicheng starts, and Kun slumps in relief. “You think you love me, but how can you know?”

“W-What?”

“Let me tell you something, Kun. Listen carefully, okay?” Sicheng coos into his ear. Kun nods, confused but always willing to listen to anything Sicheng has to say to him. 

“Nights like this, where I lay on your chest while you fall asleep—I can’t hear your heartbeat, Kun.” Kun freezes, and he tries to turn around, to explain himself in the best way possible. Sicheng doesn’t let him, holding him tight enough for Kun’s pale skin to bruise.

“Sicheng—“

“I didn’t tell you to speak, Kun. Just listen,” Sicheng quips, and his nails begin to dig into Kun’s skin. “You haven’t been honest with me. Kun from Fujian, China. That’s what you told me when we first met, but it isn’t true. Am I correct?”

Kun is about to cry, his throat is closing up painfully and his eyes are stinging. Now he _really_ wishes Dejun were here.

“You think you’re so good at keeping secrets, at keeping who you are from me. You’re so wrong,” Sicheng is grinning now, Kun can hear it in his voice. “I’m not even sure you know just how much power someone like you has.”

One of Sicheng’s hands leaves Kun’s waist as he speaks, and he reaches for his back pocket. He pulls out a blade, hidden away expertly. Kun manages to struggle out of his grasp, looking up at him with fearful, teary eyes.

Sicheng pouts, and he coos mockingly. Kun backs up against the wall, and Sicheng follows. The taller wraps a pale hand around Kun’s throat, scoffing at the way Kun tries to struggle away from him.

Kun thinks about what Ten had said the day he had let him & Dejun venture into the human world, something about being able to turn small again. He realises in this moment that Ten had never told them how to do this, and he chokes out a sob when he has another realisation that he’s _probably_ going to die like this. He tries to will himself to grow down to his natural size, squeezing his eyes shut while Sicheng attempts to cut off his air supply. 

Sicheng doesn’t really want to use this knife. The clean up afterwards is always too much of a strenuous task, he really can’t be bothered today. 

Kun finally runs out of air, and his eyes roll back in his head. Sicheng lets him drop to the ground with a thud, looking down at him while he dusts his hands off, putting the knife back in his pocket.

 

 

There’s a knock at the door, and Sicheng groans, rolling his eyes. he steps over and unlocks the door just enough to poke his head through.

Dejun watches Sicheng open the door, and frowns at the sweet smile Sicheng gives him. He raises an eyebrow when Sicheng doesn’t open the door further, and he knows something is up.

“Hey, Xiaojun. What’s up?” Sicheng grins, leaning against the door. Dejun grimaces when Sicheng starts to glance around, refusing to meet the younger’s eyes.

“Um—I brought Kun here, and it’s been a while since he came up. listen, we really need to get home so, are you guys done?” Dejun questions, and Sicheng decides he has a plan.

“Sure! Just, come on in.” Sicheng nods and opens the door, letting Dejun in and making sure to lock the door properly. Dejun frowns when he scans the room, unable to spot Kun. He looks down by the furthest wall, where Kun is laying there, unconscious.

Dejun gasps, skidding over to where Kun is sprawled across the hardwood floor. The youngest sends a scathing glare to Sicheng, who is just leant against the wall with a smug smile.

“What the hell did you do?” Dejun yells, cradling Kun close to his chest. Sicheng scoffs, and rolls his eyes as he approaches the pair. He wields his knife again, twirling it around in his hand.

“Relax, he’s just knocked out until someone comes to pick him up,” Sicheng drawls, nudging the unconscious man with his foot. Dejun scowls and pulls Kun closer to him. “You should probably go. There’s no helping him from here.”

Kun begins to stir awake, and Sicheng swears under his breath when he opens his eyes. The eldest of the three startles when he sees Sicheng standing over him, then panics when he realises he’s being held onto. Dejun attempts to calm him down, but Sicheng lunges for him with a yell.

Sicheng and Dejun grapple on the floor while Kun adjusts to his surroundings. He cries out for his friend when Sicheng manages to pin him down with an arm against his throat, the other hand raising the knife upwards.

Kun’s cry startles Sicheng, and he falters for a moment. Dejun pushes Sichenh away with a grunt and stands, scowling at the taller man who stands across from him.

“I’ll kill you,” He threatens. Sicheng just scoffs, and Dejun growls in anger. Dejun runs at Sicheng, but the latter is already prepared.

 

 

The first thing Dejun registers is the blinding pain in his stomach when Sicheng drives the knife in without hesitation. It’s painful enough to make him speechless, choking on air as he clings to Sicheng. He drives the knife deeper, flinching in disgust when Dejun coughs up blood, spraying it onto Sicheng’s jacket.

Kun screams, and Sicheng drops Dejun, leaving the knife in. The other man scrambles to hold onto his friend, and Sicheng decides to make his getaway before it’s too late.

Dejun heaves when he hits the ground, crying out when Kun moves him to hold onto him. He stares up at Kun and cracks a bloody smile, scanning over every detail of his face.

“‘Jun,” Kun croaks, his eyes filling quickly with tears. “Dejun, keep your eyes open.” Dejun hadn’t even realised that his eyes were drooping shut, snapping them open at Kun’s request.

“I’ll take you to Ten, he’ll know what to do.” Kun is speaking so quickly, Dejun can barely keep up. He shakes his head, clinging to Kun like he’s his only lifeline. He won’t make it in time to get to Ten’s alcove, but it’s fine.

 

 

⁅ 🍶🏹🎼🏙🎐🗝📖 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Apparently, they’d ended up making it to Ten’s strange cove before nightfall. Dejun had passed out by then, waking up to the feeling of Ten’s hands pressing around where the knife was still buried.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Ten drawls. Dejun had tried to laugh, smiling until he choked on the blood in his throat. Kun whimpers from beside him, and Dejun turns to face him. “You know, this is all because you guys didn’t listen to my rules.”

Ten sounds so different to the way he did when they’d first met him, and Dejun feels a strange sense of shame wash over him. He takes a rasping breath, trying to apologise.

“Shush. I’m going to take the knife out now, don’t scream.” Dejun nods lazily, and Ten just goes for it. He slaps a hand over Dejun’s mouth with ninja-like reflexes when he hears the intake of breath the younger man takes. “I said _don’t_ scream, Dejun!”

There are tears streaming down his face at the pain, but he refuses to make a noise. Ten gets to work on patching the wound up, stitching Dejun together as quickly as he can. Kun is squeezing Dejun’s hand tight, trembling as he cries. Dejun’s vision is beginning to get a little fuzzy, and he can’t really breathe at all. He looks up at Kun as his breathing starts to worsen, giving him a sorry smile. 

 

Ten begins to panic beside them, and Dejun is too tired to turn his head to find out what’s going on.

“Wh—What’s happening?” Kun asks for him, watching Ten flit around in panic. Ten takes a deep breath and stares at Kun, running his hands through his hair.

“I don’t think he’s going to make it,” Ten speaks regretfully, and the sob that makes it’s way out of Kun sends him into a pit of guilt. “He’s already lost too much blood. His heart is wilting, see for yourself.” Ten gestures to where he kept Kun’s & Dejun’s hearts.

Kun lets go of Dejun in haste, scrambling to look at the tiny jars. Kun’s heart is okay, a little dull, but it’s alright. Dejun’s, however, is barely beating, and it looks dead already.

 

Kun thinks he might throw up.

 

“Why—Why is it like that? It should be fine, right? He didn’t fall in love after you took it from him.” Kun turns to face Ten, who’s stroking Dejun’s hair in an attempt to calm him.

Dejun is crying, choking on his own breath and blood. Kun can’t bare the sight of him like this. He looks to Ten, silently demanding an explanation.

“I’m afraid he was already in love before the extraction. It cancelled out the rule, until now at least. He managed to keep it together, J guess this was enough to start the wilting,” Ten takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “The process has been sped up, Kun. He won’t come back from this, he’s going to die.”

Kun’s shoulders slump, and his bottom lip trembles. “Who was it?” His voice is so small, so hurt.

“What?” Ten asks, puzzled. Kun’s chest shakes when he takes another breath, staring at Dejun pointedly.

“Who was he in love with? Before we gave you our hearts?”

Ten is silent, trying to find the words to tell Kun. “I don’t—I’m sorry, I dont know,”

It’s quiet from there, save for Dejun’s sniffles & his choked off breaths. He tries to sit up, only to land back on the table he was on with a wheeze.

“Dejun?” 

“It’s you,” Dejun cries out, eyes squeezed tightly shut. “It’s always been you, Kun. Since we met, I knew—I knew, that you’d be the only one,” 

Kun’s eyes widen, and he rushes to where Dejun is laying, a careful hand on his cheek, the other covering his own mouth to muffle his cries. “I don’t—you—“

“I’m sorry,” Dejun chokes. His eyes are fluttering open and shut now, as he tries to get his words right. “I never told you. I was scared, and then you wanted to come here—I could never say no to you, Kun.”

Dejun takes Kun’s hand in his own, lifting it to his lips. He presses a small kiss to the back of Kun’s hand. Kun sobs hard when Dejun gives him a soft, tired smile.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t—spend more memories with eachother, kun. I’d give everything to stay with you now,” Kun shakes his head when he hears how slurred Dejun’s words are, holding him closer. “Promise you’ll forgive me, okay?”

Kun doesn’t say anything, and Dejun panics. “Promise, Kun. That you won’t blame yourself—it’s me, okay? Blame me,”

 

“Eternity, for you, Kun. That’s how long I’ll wait. Then, we can share all of our memories together, alright?”

Kun cries out, and Ten rushes to his side, holding him gently. Dejun takes his last raspy breaths, and closes his eyes. His chest lays still, and Kun presses his head to Dejun’s sternum in a desperate attempt to find any remaining flickers of life in his friend’s chest. Kun is met with nothing but cold silence.

Ten cradles Kun’s head to his chest instead, trying his best to calm him down, to quell the shaking of his body as he cries silently into Ten’s shirt.

 

 

⁅ 🌄🏹🍺🍘🌒🕯🗡 ⁆ ✧ ‣

 

 

Kun lays up each night and thinks about how hesitant Dejun had been to let him venture out to be with humans in the first place. How he had accompanied Kun, in an effort to make sure he’d be safe out there.

 

It all  falls right into place when he realises how obvious Dejun’s affections had been all along. What a fool he had been to love Kun in the way he did.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry lol
> 
> ig : sunndz  
> twt : stonerkun420


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